USA Partisan: Chilly Planet, You Disappoint Me

Bloato the Goreifecent has been telling us for years that our home base here is about to get a perma-torching from the sun and kill us all before Memorial Day. The planet, it would seem, isn’t as impressed with Fat Albert as are the Nobel committee and various pseudo-hippies around the world. Earth, that fickle rock, is proceeding with winter as planned.